What the is cough Going On Here?
by sjokella
Summary: clubbing, slash, to Voldie or not to Voldie?, secrets, mystery, romance, humor? Any ideas?
1. Ron!

Ok, to the mods that didn't allow me to post this fic: I've forgotten both the e-mail and the password to Ice Princess Of the North, which is my old nick, so I have to start the fic again. If you want to, you can delete my other account, if I don't find my password again, of course;)

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the other characters. They belong to J. K. R. only.

**Chapter One: Ron!**

By Sjokella

"Ginny! Are you coming?" It was the 10th time or so I was calling for her. I stood on the staircase, pummelling the banisters. She'd occupied the bathroom for a whole hour, and if she didn't get down here soon, we were going to miss the school train. Mum, dad and my elder brothers were still in Egypt; they'd sent Ginny and me back to the Burrow the day before yesterday, since we were the only ones that still went to Hogwarts.

" Just a minute" I heard a muffled voice say. I shifted my feet. How long can it take to put on some clothes and make-up? I thought irately. When had she even become aware that make-up even existed? To be honest, my only sister had changed a lot since she came back from her fifth year at Hogwarts, and my sixth. And those two months we'd spent at home had actually just made her weirder.

Harry had been here the whole summer, except when my family and I'd been in Egypt. He'd seemed a little weird he to, if I came to think about it. He and Ginny had stayed at Ginny's room all the time, but perhaps that wasn't so peculiar; they were together, after all. They only came down to eat or to say hello, and then they disappeared. Mum was slightly unenthusiastically to let then share the same room, but at the same time she was absolutely sure that Harry was a well-mannered young man.

Even if I felt guilty about it, I found myself several of times eavesdropping, trying to figure out what the hell they were doing in there all night and day. But there were no sound. Not anything testifying that they were inside the room at all. Not even Hermione, who also stayed with us during the holiday, had a clue about what was going on.

One day when they came down for breakfast, both looking exhausted, I asked them what they did all the time. They just waived me away, telling me not to worry. And it wasn't hard to do; in spite of the tired expression and the ash-like spots on their faces, they seemed happier than ever. It had to be love, I thought smilingly. And I've known Harry way too long to try forcing out something he doesn't want to tell. Then they left, again.

But even the fact that my little sister was dolling herself up for her boyfriend wasn't a good enough reason to come too late to school.

"The taximeter's going" I reminded her. "I don't think dad's gonna be happy when he gets the bill."

"All right, all right, I'm coming!" I heard her feet pounding the stairs as she climbed down. Finally! I raised my face to see her coming down, and my jaw dropped instantly. It wasn't my sister I saw standing there! My sister didn't have long black hair. She wore light jeans and t-skirts those days we went to the muggle-world, not black mini leather-skirt. And my sister definitely hadn't got a piercing in her belly, clearly seen below a tiny black one-shoulder top. Besides, the Ginny I knew didn't bother putting on sparkling jewellery, like those the girl in front of me was wearing.

And I couldn't even in my wildest dreams imagine my sister was capable of looking so hot!

I was astonished. She just smiled her most charming smile, swept past where I stood frozen to the floor, and headed to the door. There she stopped for a moment, eyeing me smugly.

"Well, I thought we were in a hurry," she said, her voice like melted sugar, and vanished out the door. I was snapped back to reality, and ran after her.

"What the hell have you done to yourselves?" I almost spluttered.

"Isn't that quite obvious? I've lengthened my hair, coloured it and got some new clothes. Gee Ron, you're not blind." And with that she entered the car's front-seat, shot the door with a bang and opened her handbag. As I seated myself I saw her taking out a tiny mirror, and noticed her long black-polished nails. She smoothened her skirt and crossed her fish-netted legs. I also noticed the glances she got from the driver.

"Hey!" I snapped. "Keep your eyes on the road!" Ginny just smiled and looked at me through long, blackened eyelashes. I don't know where she'd learned that tricks, only that if I hadn't been her big brother, that gesture would've made my knees fail in a moment.

We drove in silent all the way till King Cross. When we were finally there, Ginny leaped out of the car and started searching for Harry. I followed her example, excited to see my best friend.

Suddenly she let out a scream with joy, flinging her arms about a black-haired stranger, making her huge golden earrings dance in the sunlight. He was dressed in tight light-blue denim jeans, a shimmery emerald shirt and black boots. He responded by seizing her steadily around her waist, lifting her from the ground.

"Ginny! Who the fuck are--" I started, but the boy turned around before I could finish my sentence. I gawked.

"Hallo Ron" Harry beamed, clutching my hand as he used the heel of his boot to crush his cigarette, which I hadn't seen before now, in the tar.

"Hello Harry" I stammered. "Um" I looked quizzically at him. "What exactly did I miss? It seems like everyone's had a make-over save me."

"Oh," Harry laughed, "actually I haven't changed anything." Then he took Ginny's hand, and they both climbed up into the train, leaving me on the platform. I hurried after them and nearly collided in Draco Malfoy.

"Watch your feet, Malfoy," I snarled as I lowered my head so I could see his face; Malfoy's a head shorter than me, but nevertheless he's got it in the sky. He wore a really, really odd expression. I waited for him to come up with a rude answer, but that never came. Instead he seemed to try imitating a goldfish; he kept gaping, and looked extraordinary funny.

"Whatever" I said resignedly, throwing my arms into the air. Something was wrong. Seriously wrong. Not even Malfoy acted like normal!

I found the compartment Harry and Ginny had installed themselves in. They almost looked like one person against the dazzling rays of light, which the sun shot straight through the window, Ginny's robe wrapped over them. Only the fact that they were snogging crazily did reduce the impression.

What the hell is going on here? I thought as I sat down, looking forward to meet Hermione.

**A/N**: As I said, this story is not to be written by me only. I've discovered that 'writer's block' is one nasty creature, and this might be a help for more than me. Feel free to send me the whole chapter, parts of it, the ending of the entire fic, an outline, some ideas you got while reading this chapter 5 o'clock in the morning when your brain is so tired all you can think of is Lucius Malfoy wearing a pink ballet outfit, chasing an elephant. Of course everyone who have given their contribution, no matter how small, will get credit!


	2. Draco!

**Chapter Two: Draco!**

By Sjokella

Oh… my … god. Oh my god! I couldn't breath. My heart banged into my ribs. I cold sweated. The world spun around, and I could barely stand on my feet. I had to get some water. Quick! I rose from my seat, eyes never leaving that stunning beauty right outside my window, accordingly bumping right into Crabbe as that hippo entered the compartment.

"Oh, sorry," he rumbled dumbly.

"Just fuck off," I told him furiously. He'd made my loose my target.

I made my way past him, and got relieved out to the corridor. My heart hadn't got into normal rate yet, and I still felt a little lightheaded. Dizzily, I tried the window, and gratefully swung it open. Ravenously I swigged in the air, and then leaned against the wall. I raked a hand through my silky silvery blond hair, which I'd let grow down to my shoulder this summer.

This was definitely something new. Hogwarts had surely never had an ass like _his_ wandering down its hallways. Before, that dull school had strictly maintained its dull reputation. But this gorgeousness cracked without doubt that standing and rubbed it into the dust. Right now I wouldn't mind if he rubbed on something absolutely different, though…

I'd never looked on myself as a camp, but now I seriously considered changing that point. I knew it was a little drastically, but notwithstanding considered it. You're out of your mind, I told myself, but I didn't care.

I'd set the door ajar, and now I peeked inside it and out of the window, trying to find this dream figure that had been standing just in front of my eyes some moments ago. I quickly scanned the platform and found him leaning against a pillar some metres away.

He seemed so calm and composed, much like the opposite of what I was feeling in the very moment. He'd taken his sunglasses off, and now he stood gazing the crowd with an unruffled look, idly inhaling his cigarette. I watched his movements mesmerized. Slowly, as if he had all the time in the world, he raised his hand, making his sleeve slip down some inches. The gesture revealed a silvery bracelet around his left wrist. It flashed in the sun, and looked really expensive, I thought. And believe me; a Malfoy knows about important things like that! But back to the point.

It felt like eternity when he stuck his hand in his breast pocket and drew up a metallic lighter, lit the fag once more, and took a deep breath. When he let it, the smoke whirled out of his mouth, revolving around his head like a halo, before it disappeared in the air.

Suddenly he was almost knocked over by a giddy female, which flung herself around his neck, but he collected himself quickly. It looked like they had an intimate relationship indeed, and I mentally swore.

Then the unbelievable happened; my little tidbit greeted an unmistakeable red-haired boy like a friend! How the hell did the weasel manage that? He certainly hadn't offered him any money, so why would a guy who easily could've been a model choose a looser like Weasley?

Gah! A thought struck me. Weasel couldn't have… no, it couldn't be... since he didn't have any money, so maybe he'd found another way to pay… but what about that girl…he looked straight enough…_I _looked straight enough... and besides, _why_ should weasel-boy want... he was, if possible, the most not-gay person in two shoes... and...

Stop it! I shook myself mentally. Heaven sake, someone who dressed like my elected had to possess some taste in more personally matters too! I put my hands to my face and rubbed my eyes. I really was pitiable, and I even admitted it. That was what made everything about me pitiable.

When I looked up, they were all gone. Dammit! I was about to turn and go looking for them when I for the second time that day bumped into a brain-dead moron.

"Watch where you're going, Malfoy" a familiarly voice snarled. I looked up and saw the most freckled face on the entire school. He stared furiously at me.

Think, Draco, think! Come up with a horrible insulation, a joke, a little affront. _Anything! _Don't do this to me, brain, please! Oh no, he left! Fuck it, Draco! Get sobered! What will weasel think about you now?

And now I'm arguing with myself! Like I said, I really was pitiable.

**A/N**: now _you _can decide what's going to happen next! Think about the possibilities!

Will Draco get Harry? Why has Harry got this bracelet? What will Hermione say? When did Ginny get her piercing? Why were Harry and Ginny's faces full of ash? And most important of all; is our dear Voldie defeated? It's all up to you!

The only term is that the story continues in the same path that I've started, that it contains clubbing, slash, tattoos, fun and as little angst as possible in the beginning. At least that's what it must include in the next chapters=)

What you have to do is to send me that next chapter. I will edit it, and of course write your name as Author of the Chapter! Or, you can just send me an extract, an idea, a flaming or a thought that crossed your mind.

What are you waiting for? E-mail me at , and by that I mean YOU! Yes, you:)

Send me an email anyway! I'd love to learn what you think!


	3. Harry!

Yay! Chapter 3 is up! An excellent piece of work, written by an excellent author! (Read: if you want to flame anyone, don't look at me;) (ah, you know I'm just kidding, hun))

**Chapter 3: Harry**

By Heather, also known as Belletrixie

I smother a laugh, taking Ginny's hand and leading her into an empty compartment. I've never seen those two look so utterly ridiculous. Not only has Ron not been able to stop gaping at Ginny since I've met him (unless you count the time while he was gaping at me), but poor old Malfoy was dumbstruck as well.

"Oh Merlin! This is good, Ginny! We were hilarious!" I whisper and she moves closer to me, pushing me onto the plush, cushioned seat. She draps her slender arms around my neck and pulls herself into my lap. She giggles into my chest before tilting her chin towards my face, her smoky brown eyes framed by black lushes smiling at me adoringly.

"Once a Weasley, always a Weasley," she smirks, pressing a light kiss onto my collarbone.

"You hardly look like one"

"Well, it's all in the heart."

"You have a heart?" I inquire incredulously, which, I'm soon to realize, was a mistake. I watched fearfully, my body freezing up, as her face darkened in rage before I'm pinned underneath her petite body. Seriously, I'd though I had better reflexes than that.

Well, I can afford one last cheeky comment, can't I? "Once and Griffindor, always a Griffindor." I smile cheekily, noticing Ron board the train from outside. Let's give him another shocker.

"Now that you've got me here, what are you going to do with me?" I ask suggestively.

"You'd be hard pressed to stop what I'm going to do," she purrs.

"Yes, in fact I'm sure I'll quite enjoy it," I reply pompously.

"What?" she asks, feigning shock. "If I had known you'd enjoy being beaten into a bloody pulp, I would have done it a whole lot sooner. To think! I've been denying the entire world's happiness all along!"

"Kill me?" I shriek, trying, unsuccessfully though, to remove myself from underneath her, "You're boyfriend?! Me?"

"Of course, you git!" she replies laughing. "Besides, I'm not really your boyfriend, now am I? So it's not like I'll have any moral issues with betting you up," she says with an innocent, almost bored voice, smoothing her skirt.

"Ginny! You wouldn't dare use that against me!" I exclaim, then, seeing a sadistic smirk growing, I add weakly, "would you?"

She swings herself up into a sitting position, straddling my waist and I visibly relax.

"No." She smiles guiltily, "you're too precious for my plans"

"Oh is that all I am?" I glare in mock anger, "A useful little tool for-"  
"Shhh." She cuts me off, putting a finger to my lips. Then she arches a thin, black eyebrow towards the compartment door where Ron's voice floats through the hall.

_"What the hell was wrong with him? Did you see his face?"_

"Gee, you'd think he'd have the sense to know that no one besides the three of us had seen the dumbfounded look on Malfoy's face," is my only thought before Ginny claims my lips in a heated kiss

And just between you and me (I'd rather not face the wrath of Ronald Weasley, when I could be pleasuring myself with the gorgeous creature in front of me), Ron's rather lucky no one else saw his face as well. Hell, the Slytherins would be doing imitations for weeks.

**A/N:** Thank you, Heather!

Any one else?


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